Musings directly from my muse

Hot Cross Bunnies!

Not with a bang...

Poet and longtime Christian writer T.S. Eliot once speculated this is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Today is November 30th.   And, this is the way that my third NaBloPoMo ends.   Not with sizzle and substance, but with just a fizzle.

NaBloPoMo ends not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Oh, sure, I could blame my coursework for my lackluster performance over the past 30 days.  It would be easy to point to the evil empire of college and say "it's their fault."

Sadly, I can't point to others for my own failings.   How many moments did I waste playing Xbox when I could have been blogging meaningful content?   How often did I dream up significant blog content in my daily life, only to lose it because I didn't bother to carry a pen with me?  

It's sad really.

So, tonight, NaBloPoMo end not with a bang, but with a whimper.

But, there's always next year.   Let's hope for the best! 

Posted by: Windhazel at 21:43 | link | comments (3) |

Momma mia!

This afternoon I had a meal with my mother and two of my half-brothers.   Really, I consider them my brothers since I am much closer to them than I am to my other half-brother, but am I not only splitting a matter of degrees?   In my mind, I love them equally, but I am closer to some than others.  

No matter.

Anyway, I had a pseudo-Thanksgiving with two of my half-brothers and my mother at that bastian of all holiday activities, the Olive Garden.

Now, considering my brothers and I do not converse regularly; say, once a month, any conversation must be stiltled by nature.   Since both of them are at least a decade younger than I, I always struggle in what to say.   "Hey, how's it goin'?" is the majority of our conversation.

But, the person I feel most sorry for is my mother.   Here she is stuck between children between 38 years of age (moi) and 21 years of age (my youngest brother).   What can possibly keep us engaged in conversation, especially since my middle brother (age 26) sits in the middle of the two of us.

This becomes a moot point, except we've chosen such disparate paths in life.   I'm 38, recently married for the second time, working on my master's degree.   My younger brother, age 26, is struggling to acheive his associates degree and has a baby on the way.   My youngest brother, age 21, is apparently seeking nothng cannot seem to seal the deal for his GED.  

Needless to say, it's always awkward when we get together.   My mother and I, sadly so close in age, converse, and my younger brothers start their own conversation.

In my darkest moments, I have to envy my younger brothers compassion for one another.   Sadly, since I don't have the same connection to another (except my wife), I feel a little lost when they start talking.  Enough of that for now...

Ultimately, I'm never sure what to make of these family gatherings.  I'm not quite sure what my role is or should be, so I struggle to make conversation.   I would love to ask about their hopes and dreams, but I don't think members of my family think in those terms.  Hopes and dreams are incompatable with their daily existence.  

So, I drink my wine.   My brothers talk about what North Carolina basketball is doing this season.   My mother talks about her job at WalMart.  

Everyone talks, but no one connects.

Families...bah.   Somewhere there seems to be a fundamental disconnect between the mother and child.  Something deeper than the cut on the umbillical cord.   Something even deeper than a Paul Simon promise of a reunion sometime in the future.

How does one connect, when one is ultimately disconnected from those we love, based on our extremely diverse points of life?   How does one reconnect when our values are so different?  Ultimately, how can we get closer when we are headed in so such opposite directions?

Momma mia!   Can ones' mother pull us all togther over an Olive Garden bowl of pasta?  Or will we we have to wait until the breadsticks and salad arrive?  And, will food solve all of our connection problems in the end?

All of these questions, and may more, will be answered on our next episode of SOAP!

(Not really...I'm not sure when they will be solved.   But I have a huncth that  it may take more than Billy Crystal and a puppet to do it!)

Posted by: Windhazel at 21:44 | link | comments (2) |

Vacation time

Did you ever notice that time on vacation seems to run at a different time than normal life?  I don't mean, "Wow, we're taking three weeks off for vacation" time, but more like "it's only a day that our company gives us for Thanksgiving time."   I don't know why, but suddenly I'm totally ineffective.

These niggling little days sap your effectiveness.  If given a week, one can relax fully.  But given a day, the day seeps away like rain in the desert.   Where does it go?  Nobody knows.   Yet the day is as barren in productivity as if it had never rained.

Today was such a day. 

I certainly had high hopes.   After all, I have a big project for my class that I had hoped to have significant progress on.   And, to be honest, I did make some progress on the project. 

Yet, things kept me from being fully effective.   My wife's brother stopped by, we needed some grocery shopping, there were video games to play.   All of these factors sapped away from my work time, cleverly disguised as vacation.

Why does vacation time exhibit this irrational behavior?   Why is the time where you should be able to accomplish all the work (or leisure) you want to so fickle?

I believe this is another mystery of the world.  A mystery so deep that it eclipses the previous mystery; namely, "how many licks does it take to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?"   

Much like this previous mystery -- where vacation time goes, the world may never know.  

Posted by: Windhazel at 22:21 | link | comments (1) |

A couple mysteries of life to ponder...

Why does that cat only throw up on the carpet, and never on the linoleum?

Why does milk taste so drastically different the day after it's "best by" date?

Why can't I figure out my blog problems?



Why, I ask you?   WHY, WHY!?

(Actually, nothing happened to provoke the last question today, but I thought I would throw it in for good measure.)

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Posted by: Windhazel at 16:01 | link | comments (2) |

Supersize Yourself

Tonight we watched the what I would call a "docudrama" of Supersize Me.  In case you are unaware, this documentary discusses the dangers of fast food on our population and its evident risk to the health of human beings all over.

Certainly, I do not disagree that fast food is an unhealthy food choice for anyone.   Nor do I have a fundamental disagreement with the idea with the film's hypothesis that this food will have negative health benefits, and that we should test that hypothesis through (somewhat) scientific means.

What I have a fundamental disagreement with is that the fast food companies should be the scapegoats for America’s obesity problem.   This is the same problem I would have with Bowling for Columbine (or pick a Michael Moore film).   The underlying premise is that fast food, or gun, or a variety of social maladies are the fault of corporate greed and inherently dangerous products.

Before we go any further, I should make it know that I do not own a gun nor do I regularly shop at McDonalds.   I might also mention that for a while I was eating at Subway at most breakfasts for the most part of the month.   I have also been known to imbibe on my share of vodka martinis and beer.  Over the past year, I probably put on 20 pounds. 

But, as I look at my weight gain, who should I blame?  Should I blame beer for being so darned high in carbs and a product that a significant proportion of the population is genetically disposed to becoming addicted to?    I damn thee, InBev.  I damn thee to HECK!

Or, instead of saving all my well-meaning hatred for this corporate giant which is, admittedly, making billions off my cravings; do I turn my critical eye inward and observe my own part in my weight gain.   Which is easier? 

I submit that it is much easier to look outward for most Americans than inward.   Thus, movies like Supersize Me become big hits, while consumers…well, just become bigger.

At what point do we stop looking outward toward government or corporations to solve our problems, and start looking at someone who can make real change today; namely, us?   As Pogo once remarked, “I have met the enemy, and they is us!”

This is the fundamental flaw in society today, and possibly a fatal flaw so large to be compared with a character in a Shakespearian play; that is, when things look darkest, there is always enough light to point the finger at someone else for our situation and cast the cold glow of blame in their direction.   Meanwhile, we sit warm and comfortable in our air of self-superiority, yet no better for having pointed the finger.

Let’s take the mortgage crisis.   Is it the bank’s fault for making loans to people who obviously could not pay in the long run?   Certainly.   But, don’t the people who took out the loans, and who were in a better position to know their own situation also to blame?   In this case, we have two parties who turned a blind eye to the realities of the situation, and hoped that someone would step up and be responsible, and right on cue, someone did – the American taxpayer.   After all, an American economic crisis is everyone’s crisis – as the obesity epidemic, as is health care, as is gun control.    Sadly, when people turn to someone to solve the problem, how frequently they turn to the government (a government which is quickly taking on the role of Big Brother, I might add) instead of deciding that this is a government of we the people, and it is the individual, that most basic part of “the people” who must stand up and say enough!  It’s not McDonalds, Miller Brewing Company, Smith and Wesson, or even Al Queda who are to blame for our situation.   It is us, each one of us in the choices that we make every day.

I read a book once that stated a powerful idea very succinctly and in a meaningful way to me that I’ve never forgotten.  In essence, it said that each day we cast a vote for what believe is good or evil.   And the lever that we pull in that voting booth is tied to the dollar.   When you make a purchase at McDonalds, you say, “this is a good thing and we want more of it.”   When you buy radishes, celery, broccoli, and carrots at the grocery store, you vote for the continuation of healthy choices.   Who is to blame for making fast food profitable?  Is it McDonalds for being so darned crafty that they offer a cheap product that tastes good, or is it the consumer who enters McDonalds or Burger King or KFC and says, “Yeah, I think I’ll have the 12 pounds of fries.   After all, they’re only 99 cents!”

I believe that only if we are big enough to stand up and not purchase products that we know are bad for us, will we truly be a big enough person to inherit the skin in which we live, no matter the size of that skin.  It’s only by looking inward at our own excesses, weaknesses, and plain silliness, and are willing to make the necessary changes, that we will truly grow to have the moral position and understanding to look outward at other’s behavior to create enlightened regulation that is meaningful, without hampering our basic liberties to choose – even if those choices are the wrong ones.

When we as a taxpayers and voters face up to our individual role and responsibilities in society; it is only on that day that we grow up.   On that day, everyone who steps up to the plate will be a little larger inside for the experience.   And that is the type of “supersizing” that is long overdue in today’s culture.

So, go ahead…Supersize me….

But supersize yourself first.

Posted by: Windhazel at 22:00 | link | comments |

Short but sweet.

So, there is a button on my mouse that means "back."   This is the nature of my blogging troubles.  

Again, I had a great blog that was well-written about communication.   Somehow I hit that button and now that blog is gone.

I will beat this.

<sigh>

Posted by: Windhazel at 21:34 | link | comments (4) |

Pissing people off for fun and profit

I'm leading a team to create a business plan for my current class.   The class is Entrepeneurship, so my group picked a business based on "improv comedy," something I happen to know a lot about.

Tonight, I get an IM from one of my classmates.  She's working on market research, and she's done all this work on a survey.   Honestly, I don't have the heart to tell her that her survey wouldn't tell us much, but I try to give her support for all the work she's done.

Well, she creates this thing, then she comes to me asking for a list of names to send it to.   I'm like, "Uh, I have no idea."  She responds with, "Well, you received over 200 responses on the banking survey that you sent out last class."   I reply, "Yeah, but those were all coworkers, friends, friends of friends, family, people I met once, etc.   I relied on personal relationships to gather that data."

I can tell she's disheartened.   After all, she worked so hard to build this survey, but now she can't send it out to anyone.  "Perhaps you could buy an e-mail list," she offers.   "I could," I reply.  "But anything we send out to a national e-mail list is going to smell like spam and totally ignore our target market."  I think buying a list is a bad, bad idea.

So, where does that leave us?

I'm always a little frustrated with people because I wonder what they are thinking when they do things.   When I build my survey, the first think I thought about is how I would get information and what that information could tell me. 

I think this person is discouraged because she thinks I know the answers, but I'm not telling her.   Hell, if I knew the answers, I wouldn't need people to write surveys.  I'd just go to the Windhazel library of knowledge of everything and pull it up. 

As a long time observer of people's behavior, I think some people try to downplay how smart they are.   Everyone seems sooooo smart, but them, and so they don't bother to think about how to solve their own problems.  

I'm sorry, that was harsh.

Instead, I think that people are locked into a way of thinking and they can't break out of it.   According to a book that I read about the psychology of superstition, 10% of people can't ever be hypnotised.   10% of the people can always be hypnotized.  The other 80% can, but also may not be hypnotized.   

Life is much the same, either you are one who always takes knowledge and synthesizes it into a new vision (e.g. "creative people"), or you can never imagine things differently then they are today.   The other 80% can, but they don't stretch themselves very much and so sometimes they can't.  

So, I guess that the point of this post is that we should never give up.   We should never say, "Well, why don't you think me out of this problem" in some form or another.    It's our intellectual integrity at stake here to say, "I can," "I wil work on it," or "I can dream up a solution."

And, if you can't think for yourself, I think you should take my classmates survey.   She'd really appreciate it.  ;-)

Posted by: Windhazel at 21:37 | link | comments (1) |

A script...in 5 minutes

Today, I finished the book, Improvise., by Mick Napier.   Good stuff.

One of the "at home" exercises he recommends is writing a script between two people in 5-minutes.   No stopping.  It doesn't have to be a good or bad script.   Just type for 5 minutes straight.   Don't worry about punctuation, spelling or anything (like I ever do that in my blog anyway). 

The purpose of this exercise is to discover two different characters point of view and to be able to develop a scene.  Both of these are critical in improvisational acting, and (if you ask me) critical in life.   Arlene, you'll be happy to know this also helps you in Toastmasters "Table Topics" too.

Okay, I'm setting up the clock now.   This is my script in 5 minutes.   You'll forgive me if there isn't any introductory information, since usually you don't have a set or a narrator to set this all up.  Okay...brain puking...BEGIN!!!

Man:   Man, it is sure warm today.

Woman:   I know...I just got to the park and I already have to take off my jacket.

M:   Jacket?   That's great.   Where did you get it from?

W:  Oh, this old thing?   Well, it was a hand me down of my sisters.

M:  Your sisters?   Was she into North Face?

W:  Not really.  She was into whatever people are into these days.

M:  <Laughing>   Ah, one of those, eh?

W:  <Blushing>  Yeah.

M:   So, do you come here often?

M:  <Laughing...embarrassed>   I'm sorry.   That's stupid.

W:   No, no....I know what you meant.

M:  Well, you know I get tongue tied around strangers.

W:  Well, you seem to be conversing quite well with me.

M:   <uncomfortable>   Yeah.   Uh...

W:  <changing the subject>   So what brought you to the park today?

M:   Nothing really.  Well, everything.   My daughter is supposed to meet me here.

W:  Your daughter?

M:  Yeah, I'm divorced.  My daughter gets off school from over there and she meets me here every day.

W:  Ah, what a consciencious dad.

M:  Not really, it's a pain to get here before traffic hits.  My boss gets really upset because I need to leave early.

<uncomfortable silence>

M:   And, what what brings YOU here?

W:  I'm meeting someone.

M:  <a little consternation>   Really?

W:  Yeah, it's a guy I met on the Internet?

M:  The Internet, huh?   Sounds exciting!

W:  Not really...his profile says he loves cats, rainy days, and Bon Jovi.   You know what you get with Match.com.

M:  No, not really.  I've always been scared to try it.

W:   REALLY!   It's pretty exciting!   I put my information in there...my dreams, what I'm like, and they match me with people like ath.

M:  Has it worked for you so far?

W:  Well, no.   I have met lots of nice ex-convicts though.  <Laughs>

M:   <laughs>   Yeah, I'll bet.  

M:   Well, I'm not a convict.

W:  That's good.  I checked your ankle when I sat down.   You didn't have the telltale braclet around it.

M:   Oh, crap...that's my daughter.

W:   She's cute.

M:   Yeah, she takes after her mother.

W:  See you around then?

M:   Definitely.  Just look for the parole officer, and I'll be close.  <Laughs and leaves>

<end>

Okay, what is crap about this scene is that nothing happens.  It's two people in the park talking about nothing in particular.   This scene needs to "do something."   Let's try that again:

Scene #2 in 5 minutes...except this time I'll start the timer...

BEGIN:

Man #1:   Wow, thank god we got out of there.

Man #2:   Yeah, that prison was killing me.   I didn't think your plan would work.

M1:   Hey, you doubt the one and only Vinny?

M2:  <laughing>  Never!

M1:   <looking down>   We just need to figure out how to get these shackles off.

M2:  Yeah...we can't be tied together.   After all, you're 6' 7" and I'm only 5'4".   We'd look like like a sack race.

M1:   <grabbing something>   Well, we could use a rock.  I think we could just break them apart.  <mimics breaking them>

M2:   Nah, that would never work.   These are titanium!

M1:   Oh, crap...well, let's move over here.

M2:   <looking around>   Wait...is that a dog?

M1:   <dropping to the ground>   Yeah, it is!   And he's carrrying a flashlight.

M2:  <also dropping>   Damn cops...they taught the dogs to carry flashlights.

M1:   <looking to M2>   Do you have anything to distract him?

M2:   <sarcastingly>  Yeah, titanium shackles.  Dogs love those.  They use it as a chew toy.

M1:   Yeah, yeah...real funny, wise guy.   Seriously though.

M2:  No...nothing.

M1:   <pointing>  Hey, I think he's distracted by the squirrel over there.  If we make it to the river, we should be fine.

M2:  I'll follow.

M1:   <does "jungle crawl" for a few feet>

M2:  <follows>

M1:   <false whisper>   Hey, we're hung up.

M2:  On what?

M1:   On the dog.

M2:  That explains the flashlight in my eyes.

M1:   I don't think we're gonnna make it.

M2:  Yeah, and we would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for that damned dog.

Dog:   Scrooby-rooby-doo!

<end>

Wow...that's more sucky than the first one.   Let's try it again except with SOMETHING HAPPENING and less dialog!

BEGIN!

Woman 1:  <grabs and object>  I tell you, Marsella, escaping from prison is a real gas!

W2:  Yeah, don't I know it.   I haven't had this much fun since the boys came back from the war!

W1:  World War 2?

W2:   Nope, the civil war. 

<both laugh>

W1:   Well, I think we should consider what our newfound freedom will provide!

W2:   What do you have in mind?

W1:   Well, I've always wanted to start a knitting shop.

W2:  <laughs>   Oh, Beatice, you are such a rebel.

W1:  <laughs>   Don't I know it.  That's why I was a confederate!

<both laugh>

W1:   But, I'm afraid that I'm a bit short on cash.

W2:  I thought I saw that you had your prison outfit stuffed with cash.

W1:   Greenbacks, I'm afraid.

<both sigh>

W1:   Well, there's nothing for it but to cross this river and make it to the city.

W2:   But, these uniforms...they will shrink!

W1:   Oh, Gertrude, what do have to worry about?   You look fabulous in stripes?

W2:  Do you really think so?

W1:  Definitely.   You know, stripes generally make people look fat, but the shackle sets it off beautifully.

W2:   <blushing>  Oh, stop!

W1:  No, really.   I think the shrinking of the stripes caused by the river would make you look lovely.  Thinner, actually.

W2:  <tittering>  Oh, YOU!

W1:   And just think, had I not killed my lover, I never would have met you.

W2:   And if I hadn't killed someone who complemented me one day, I never would have met you.

W2:   <Grabs knife from behind back and stabs W1 to death>

<end>

Okay...also sucky, but enough for tonight.

One thing about all three scenes....I had an online counter and I swear I had started it, but in every scene it didn't seem to kick off.  Therefore, I would be writing, only to look up and find out the timer was still sitting at 5 minutes.    So sad.

It's actually kind of fun to try this.   Who is next?

Posted by: Windhazel at 21:21 | link | comments (2) |

"As if!"

Well, I talked about the "niche market" that I identified in my company, and my boss's lack of enthusiasm about turning this into a management group.   You may be wondering, "But what happened after that?"  I can hear you thinking that, so don't even try to deny it.

Well, what happened after that is that I implemented a guerrilla marketing campaign to enlist a bunch of people in my dream.   I think it's a good dream, so I wanted to get some honest feedback from (surprise!) people who were in a position to help me bring it about.  It helps when you like and respect the people that are giving you feedback/possibly helping you out.

First, I went to our Purchasing Manager (did I mention it had to do with Supplier Quality?).    She listened to my proposal with enthusiasm.   She agreed that this was needed.  When I was done, she offered me advice on how to discuss it with my management.

Next, I talked to another person who happens to be a Director (though not in my chain of command).  I told him my idea, and he also agreed that it was a good idea.   Apparently, he's not a big fan of my boss, so he was going to talk to my VP about this idea and sell it from that point.

Finally, MY Director (my boss's boss) contacted me.   I guess my boss told him about the idea, and he was in support of it.   I told him why it was a good move for the company.   He candidly told me that it was definitely a route to a management position, and we had some really good discussion about my future plans.   I also told him why I thought it should be a management position and he agreed.

So...you might think that I'm on the management track now.   Au contraire!

You see, nothing has changed yet.   I am not a manager and I don't have the blessing of the organization to set up this group.

Actually, to say that nothing has changed is not totally true.   I have decided to start implementing my vision by acting "as if."  

Going forward, I've been acting "as if," I was going to lead this new division.   At each stage, I'm keeping my boss in the loop -- soliciting input, notifying him of significant events, and talking to him as if he were a peer; that is, candidly and with the technical and charismatic authority I know I possess.   To my customers, I've been also acting with the authority and confidence that I can bring them about.   Small moves all, but still moves to bring my vision into place.

So, I continue to dream about what tomorrow looks like for "my group."  What is more, I'm putting into place the contacts, credibility, and infrastructure to build on those dreams.

I guess there is value in dreaming.   Maybe one can change their starts.   Maybe not.  But, for now, I'm going to act "as if" anything is possible.   And, in my heart of hearts, I really believe that it is.  That's enough for today.

But look out tomorrow....

Posted by: Windhazel at 17:47 | link | comments |

11:44

I just finished my homework and test for tomorrow and now it's 11:44.  I was about to log off, before I realized, "Hey!  I haven't blogged today."  So this is it.

Tomorrow, I will be blogging about dreams, IML.   All is well...or so it appears....

Posted by: Windhazel at 22:45 | link | comments |

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